Cast Away

Cast Away was on TNT last night and I watched the last third of the movie. I was telling my wife that if that were to happen to me [stranded on a deserted island by myself], I would never last. Between the myriad of vermins and lack of anything civilized, I would probably last about a week. Tom Hanks' character, Chuck Nolan, lasted 4 years on this island. And as I watched this movie, I realize one of the themes is about loss and letting go.

During Chuck's four years on the island, he befriends a Wilson volleyball from one of the many FedEx packages that washes on shore after the plane crashes in the ocean. After getting cut from trying to start a fire, he picks up the ball and hurls it. He realizes the bloody handprint on the ball resembles a face. And from there, out of his loneliness, he starts to have a friendship with Wilson He converses, argues, and has a relationship with this inanimate object because he is desperate for relationship. The sense of time, which is so crucial to Chuck's life before as a FedEx employee, evaporates as he hsd nothing but time now. He has no choice but lose that part of his life and embrace surviving and holding on to the one thing that will keep his hopes alive: The thought of returning and being with his love, Kelly. After four years, Chuck builds a raft and leaves the island, finally feeling he has the courage and strength to try to get rescued. In his torturous journey with his raft in the middle of the Pacific, Wilson, falls from the post it is perched up on and drifts off into the horizon. Chuck desperately tries to "save him", but ultimately has to choose the raft over rescuing his friend. As he lies on his raft, he is sobbing, saying the name "Wilson", over and over again. Apologizing for not saving him. When he finally gets rescued, he finds Kelly married with a child. She tells him everyone told her he was dead and to let him go.

No one lives a life free of pain and loss. We have all lost - close relatives or friends, a favorite heirloom or item and it hurts, evenif we try to be self protective and not let down our guard. Chuck loses two relationships that were vital for his survival, Wilson and Kelly. Wilson is the relationship that keeps him sane through his loneliness and Kelly is the hope he needs to leave the island to try and go back to her. This movie reminded me we all need relationships and a hope to live. With all due respect to Paul Simon, no one is an island and the rock can feel pain. The pain that Chuck feels is one of loneliness and fear. He is both alone and lonely. The fear that he will die as such. But the hope that carries him off is Kelly. She is the hope he needs to get off the island. And when he returns, he has to lose her all over again because she had to move on.

The sense of loss is overwhelming, especially when we are in the midst of the pain. We are not in control. We want to relieve the pain as quickly as possible and we will do whatever it takes to take control of it again. In the moment of loss, I know that it is scary and it is painful, but I think that's what God wants me to see in this movie, that there is hope. But His hope is not going to disappoint me like Kelly disappointed Chuck. His hope is filled with goodness and strength, but it has to be on His terms. I choose hope out of despair, but I normally want it my way. Because it's convenient for me. Because I am in control. But in letting go of that control, God catches me and doesn't let go, even though it's scary. If I can get off the throne and let Him be the King as is rightly His to take, I can finally invite Jesus to relieve the pain that only He can relieve. In letting go, I am submitting my own disturbed way of living to something better, to a hope that never fades. At the end of Cast Away, Chuck finds freedom in delivering the only FedEx package he did not open. And finally, he is able to let go of Kelly and sees life as opportunistic again. And that's the hope that I want to find in Jesus, who never fails and who never lets go. But I have to learn to do that in His timing and give up control - submitting to His plans and His ways. It is so difficult, because fear is a great de-motivator. But God is about hope and life and freedom. And even in a movie like Cast Away, I can learn to see the possibility of letting go and embracing a sense of loss. The loss of relationships. The loss of kingship. Submitting to a new King and living a life of freedom and grace.

Plan A. Or Was that Plan B?

Understanding our created beings may not sound all that enticing and fun.  But for me, it really has been a great way to connect with God.  In reading and learning about worship, I found that there is much more than meets the eye.  Or in my case, there is much more than meets the heart.  I was talking to the wife about this a month or so ago and it really excited and saddened me at the same time.  God speaks to Moses:

You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself.  Not therefore, if you obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession out of all the peoples.  Indeed, the whole earth is mine, but you shall be for me a priestly kingdom and a holy nation.  These are the words you shall speak to the Israelites.  Exodus 19:4-6

When I first read that, I was excited.  That was the plan God wanted for us.  To be a "priestly kingdom and a holy nation".  In The Adventure of Worship, Gerrit Gustafson wrote that in Unger's Bible dictionary, it reads: "In precise terminology of the law, a priest [kohen] is one who may draw near to the divine presence."  And, in the New Testament, "there is a word that carries the same meaning: prroserchomai.  In Hebrews 10:1, it is translated as 'those who draw near to worship'."  And that's what God wanted for us.  To be a kingdom of people who drew near to worshiping the Lord.  He showed His grace of the Israelites by taking them out of captivity of Egypt and gave us an offer.  If we were to obey His voice and covenant, we would be His treasured possession out of all the people.  How exciting is that!  To be His treasured possessions. 

God told Moses to consecrate the people for two days and get them ready for Him.  By the third day, Moses was to set limits around the mountain because they were not to go up on it or touch the edge.  On the third day, God was to reveal Himself to the people of Israel [Exodus 19:9-15].  And come He did:

On the third day there was thunder and lightning as well as a thick cloud on the mountain, and a blast of trumpet so loud that all the people who were in the camp trembled. Exodus 19:16

God gave the people the 10 commandments on the third day.  But here is how the people of Israel responded to the thunder, lightning, and trumpets:

When the people witnessed the thunder and lightning, the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking, they were afraid and trembled and stood at a distance, and said to Moses, 'You speak to us and we will listen, but do not let God speak to us or we will die.  Exodus 20:18-19

God wanted them to be priests, one who draws near for worship.  But now, they are afraid and wanted an intermediary between themselves and God.  I think one of the main things here is that because of their fear of the unknown [who God is], they wanted someone else to represent them.  They wanted Moses to be their "priest".  Moses responds to the people by telling them not to be fearful, God came to test them to put the fear of Him upon them so they would not sin.  Moses then drew near to God on his own to where God was.  The ordination that was suppose to happen between God and His people never took place.  They wanted Moses to go in place of them.  And God honored their decision - to not be part of His priestly kingdom.  So in Exodus 28, God assigns Aaron and his descendants to be the priests that will represent the people of Israel.  They shall be distinguished by their clothes and they alone will be called "priests".

So, we opted out of God's plan A.  And because God doesn't want people kicking and screaming into His plans for us, He created the priestly line.  It's sad that we would opt out of His plans out of fear, but so often I do that with God.  I don't trust that it will be OK if I follow His path, so I make my own.  And God shows that He honors my decision, but I will do that outside of the relationship with Him.  Plan A was an ordination and intimacy with God.  Place B was separation and having Aaron and his line be our path to God.  It wasn't until Jesus came that we no longer needed a priest - that we can come to God as our rightful and created role of "priests".  I am a priest.  And I draw near to God for worship.