God's Purpose

During my quiet times in the last 3-4 months, I've been looking at God's character and qualities that would help me get to know Him better rather than just understand Him more. While I seek the understanding, I really felt that the Holy Spirit was working in me to get to know Jesus better, and that comes by know the qualities of His character and how that is played out in my own life.

In reading half of Genesis [started with Jacob's fleeing from Esau] and starting in Exodus, the large portion of what I read so far is the life of Joseph and his brothers. And I kept asking myself, "What is it about God that is revealing to me?" Because in the story of Joseph, God's literal voice is absent - He doesn't actually say anything for chapters. But in the midst of Joseph's life, where his brothers' jealousy leads to their selling him, being in jail for 12 years, and reaching to the height of Pharaoh's kingdom only to be confronted by his family again, I wondered what qualities of God I was suppose to get.

As I thought more about it, the Holy Spirit led me to an important quality of God's. It is that God's purpose is perfect and bigger than anything we could have planned for. I think what I used to take away from Joseph's story is that if you are faithful in God during times of trials and act appropriately, God will make things better. And I still think there is a lot of truth in that. But this time around, I think I see that God has a purpose, and His purpose is only known to Him. And just as important, His purpose is redemptive. The story of Joseph is a redeeming one, where only God could know his purpose over a 12-20 year span. Despite Joseph's jealous brothers, God redeemed the story at the end with reconciliation and blessings.

God's purpose is bigger than us. It is bigger than the moment in which we live. I was talking to the wife and I don't think our purpose is to know fully God's purpose. That would, for all intents and purpose, make us God. God reveals His purpose to us when we need it and in the way we need it. But we always have to be ready and willing to submit to His plans. Because whatever season we are living right now, God's purpose is bigger than that - and if we don't believe that, then we're not seeing closely God's character. There is a story within each of us, and our stories are meant to be part of God's purpose, especially in its redemptive nature. God's redemptive purpose for Joseph was for him to be the head of Pharaoh's kingdom - but that couldn't have happened unless he was imprisoned and interpreted the dreams of Pharaoh's. Our stories are not unlike Joseph's. We too, have gone through ups and downs. But God's purpose is big. His purpose is perfect. And it is one of God's qualities that make Him uniquely God - that He is all knowing, and that His plans need no help from us from coming to fruition.

Valjean

I have been thinking about identity recently.  I know history tells us names of individuals has significance, like when my wife reminded me that Leah named her first born with Jacob as Ruben, meaning he has seen my misery.  A testament to her status as Jacob's less favored wife. The identity that God reveals to Moses as Yahweh, or I Am.   He revealed Himself and dwelt in the temple Solomon built in 2 Chronicles.  

This idea of identity was enforced when I recently listened to the music from Les Miserable'.  The protagonist, Jean Valjean, goes through different identities in the story to stave off Javert, the self-righteous police inspector who will do anything to catch Valjean.  The beginning of the musical has a very intense and strong interaction between Valjean and Javert.  Valjean had been imprisoned in jail because he stole a loaf of bread from a baker so his sister and her child wouldn't starve to death.  He was then imprisoned for another 14 years because he tried to escape.  In the prison, he was merely known by a number, prisoner 24601.  For 19 years, that was his identity.  And when he was finally up for parole, Javert calls him by his prison identity:

[Javert]

Five years for what you did

The rest because you tried to run

Yes, 24601

[Valjean]

My name is Jean Valjean

[Javert]

And I'm Javert

Do not forget my name!

Do not forget me, 24601

The insistence on calling Valjean 24601 is something that clearly offends Valjean.  He has a name.  And his name is not 24601.  The identity that we all find in our names becomes a birth right.  We feel entitled to be called by our given name.  When someone mispronounces my name, I feel compelled to correct them, to make sure they know when they talk to me, the correct identity is addressed.  

So when I think about my identity in Christ, it's tough to see what that looks like.  It's difficult to know what my identity is in Jesus.  Don't I have my own identity?  Wouldn't Jesus want me to have my own identity, separate from Tom, Dick, and Harry?  The answers seem academic.  "Well, we are to live our lives for Christ and thus, we place His identity as our own."  But soon I realize that that's not what I am confused about nor am I questioning.  What has made me think so deeply about identity is that God created me to be who I am.  And He accepts and loves me for who I am.  And who I am is different than anyone else, so what is this identity?  I can't say I have truly heard God say, "Your identity is..."  The wife and I had a good conversation last night about purpose.  The purpose God gave each of us.  What is my purpose?  Or more deeply, what is my identity?

In the story, Valjean becomes a respectable citizen after he leaves prison, and takes on another identity, that of Father Mandeleine.  When Javert senses that Father Mandeleine is actually Valjean, he moves in to arrest him, but the police tells Javert they have found the real Valjean [in actuality, it's another person they think is Valjean].  What will Valjean do?  Will he allow an innocent man to be condemned or will he face the truth and reveal himself to be the real Valjean?

[Valjean]

Who am I?

Can I condemn this man to slavery?

Pretend I do not see his agony?

This innocent who bears my face

Who goes to judgment in my place

Who am I?

Can I conceal myself forevermore?

Pretend I'm not the man I was before?

And must my name until I die

Be no more than an alibi

Who am I?

How can I face my fellowmen?

How can I face myself again?

My soul belongs to God, I know

I made that bargain long ago

He gave me hope when hope was gone

He gave me strength to journey on

Who am I?  Who am I?

I'm Jean Valjean

And so Javert you see it's true

This man bears no more guilt than you

Who am I?

24601!

Valjean does the right thing by handing himself over to Javert.  His identity isn't, truly, 24601, but it's Jean Valjean, the man who's "soul belongs to God".  The identity is not Father Mandeleine.  It's not even 24601.  But it's the man who's identity God created.  A man of justice.  A man of truth.

To align with God's identity for me is a difficult journey.  There are seasons in my life where I am Father Mandeleine, the citizen of the year award who takes in prostitutes like Fantine and cares for her daughter Cossett.  The are seasons when I'm the law breaker, the one who justifies stealing a loaf of bread to feed the hungry.  But God's identity for me does not change.  It is the same yesterday, as it is today, as it will be tomorrow.  I can try to be different people - people whose identity I feel I need to be.  But God's identity for me is not Father Mandeleine or 24601.  It's an identity that is true to my soul.  Party of this identity is to be worshipful.  To worship the one who has not creator.  To worship the one who desires and deserves my worship.  That alone invades the inner core being - to worship Him with an integrated life of work and personal lives.  There is no recipe, there is not thunderous voice from heaven.  But there is the Holy Spirit who intervenes and intercedes for me and I do it in my gut.  But another question arises.  Am I willing to be who God created me?  Or am I too comfortable being another person?  It is a good question.  Who am I?  Who am I?  This journey continues with questions and seemingly few answers.  But I belief the Holy Spirit is at work and it will help with that burning flame in my stomach to come alive at the right time.