Hope Is A Good thing

Dear Red, If you're reading this, you've gotten out. And if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further. You remember the name of the town, don't you? I could use a good man to help me get my project on wheels. I'll keep an eye out for you and the chessboard ready. Remember, Red. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well. Your friend, Andy.

The idea of hope is not a new one.  In fact, it's not really an idea at all.  It's a promise.  It's a promise from God that despite the brokenness and desperation we all live in, there is optimism and confidence that God is in control and He has a better plan.  This promise is not empty.  He always comes through.  We are never let down.  The problem is that we hold our own plans above God's.  Our grip on the here and now does not let God move and show us the great things He has for us.  And because we're all self serving and not focused on God's promise, we miss out on the confidence He wants to give us.

Andy Dufresne is a fictional character in Stephen King's short story, "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption".  His character is more than just an innocent man who is wrongly imprisoned for something he didn't do.  He lives in hope.  The hope that we all are promised by our generous God, but whom we have turned away from because of our distrust in His goodness.  In the end of the movie, Red has found the place that Andy has mentioned while they were in prison together.  That letter is simple, but it's an invitation.  That invitation is for Red to choose.  There's work to be done in paradise.  Andy's paradise.  And he needs a good man to help him.  What I love about this letter is that even though there is work to be done, Andy is getting the chessboard ready.  That's how God is.  There's work to be done.  That invitation is out there for us to choose to into.  But there is also going to be time to relax, have fun, and spend some good one on one time with God.  And the best thing is that hope is a good thing.  And "no good thing ever dies".  Hope will not die because God cannot die.  And if we can hold on to that confidence, we too, will find ourselves in Zihuatanejo.  No matter how long we've been in prison.  No matter how faraway it seems.  Because hope IS a good thing.  "Maybe the best of things."

Learning from Rose Nadler

For anyone who's seen Lost and has stuck with this show as I have, you quickly realize no matter how confusing and frustrated you are in wanting to find answers, there are hidden layers to this show that, if you watch it like you would "The Bachelor" [i.e. half doing something else], you will miss more than you may want to.  I'm not going to reveal any spoilers here because that's not the purpose of this blog.  But to understand more deeply about myself and my relationship with God, it's funny how the Holy Spirit will take situations as inconsequential as a television show to reveal God's desire for me.

There are so many things tugging at our interests, interests that lead us to stray off of God and onto ourselves.  The Puritan culture that still lives and breathes in the fabric of America runs deep.  We are taught at an early age to work hard, do your part, and all the while, "if you want to do it right, do it yourself".  There's a lot of "doing" in our culture and that puritanical lifestyle seeps into my soul from day one and it's never really allowed me to just stop, drop everything, and follow Jesus.  Clearly, there is nothing wrong with taking responsibility of one's life and do the work that is necessary to do.  But so often, I misinterpret that responsibility as a way of relational fortitude with Jesus.  The words "try", "do", "should", and "more" are constants in my prayer life.  I want to "try" harder.  I want to "do" more.  I "should do more".  But in doing more, I often just focus more on myself.  I focus on whether or not I look good in what I am doing, asking if I am doing the right things, and wondering if I have done enough.  It's really all about me.

The Lost connection is that I am like John Locke.  Depending on the timeline you are watching, John Locke is in a wheel chair.  The disabled Locke imagines and fantasizes about what he can do if he has the use of his legs.  And then one day, he meets Rose Nadler, a supervisor in a temp agency trying to get Locke some work.  He wants her to place him in a construction site because he tells her that's what he's interested in.  She responds with, "I can send you there tomorrow, but the next day, you'll be right back here."  And when Locke starts to lecture her on his circumstance, she responds with her own disability.  She is dying of terminal cancer.  Embarrassed, Locke apologizes for his demeanor, but Rose tells him something that we all need to hear.  She said that she went through a period of denial and it wasn't until she accepted the brutal condition that she began to live and have peace.  She encourages him to do the same, to not dwell and focus on what he can and can't do, but for who he is and who he loves.

There is also a disability in me.  It's not a physical one, but the disability of sin in my life disables me to love and relate deeper with Jesus and others.  It's created a barrier that relegates me to being self centered and self absorbed.  I, too, think about what life would be if I only "did" more of the good things and less of the bad.  I think about how wretched I am in the sight of Jesus.  But watching Rose gently teach Locke about acceptance has given me a new perspective on my own relationship with Jesus.  To not focus so much on what I am doing right/wrong, but to focus on who I am.  Clearly what I do is an extension of who I am, but there is no balance of seeing myself for me in front of God - a broken spirit who is loved in spite of his imperfections.  And to embrace God's grace and to believe that His grace can redeem any sin is difficult to grasp.  But sometimes, the Holy Spirit will use someone like Rose, a fictional character that only speaks to me like she were real.  The realness of the Holy Spirit has been there all along, but I was always too busy to listen. Maybe I have it all backwards.  Maybe I need to think about God's economy first before my own, because only when that happens can I see me for who I really am.  And to see that person is to take a step forward to allow God's redemptive story to play out.  Because now He has space to work in my life because I can no longer "do" anymore than I already have.

Boxing In God's Grace

Read a great description today from Ray Anderson:

For Jesus, the purpose of prayer was not for excluding sinful actions of others, but for including others and their sinful actions in His own life with the Father as the basis for redemption of sinners.

Professor Anderson was writing in the context that Jesus prayed for Judas, and that Judas was an answer to prayer. Yes, he betrayed Jesus and the disciples, but this was not merely about God allow Judas to go through with it. This is much more than that. It is about God's promise of redemption that He is able to include sinful actions into His life.

And this isn't just about Judas obviously. This is about everyone else. This is about how God views me, that He prays for me and includes the sins that I have yet to commit. He is not praying that sinful actions in my life would be excluded, but that it would be inclusive of who I am so that He can continue to do His work in me. Professor Anderson, earlier in the book, writes:

When we view God's grace as conditional upon our perfection - our success in living by His commands - we will tend to use prayer as a way of securing God's promises by meeting the right conditions. In this view of God, a failure to produce a result through prayer throws us back upon our own lack of faith - or worse, upon some unconfessed spiritual defect that sabotages God's work.

This view of God's grace and prayer is something I know has been entrenched in my life. I completely use prayer as a tool to secure God's promise. And if that promise is unfulfilled, then it's a result of my own lack of faith or past sin. This theology and view of God limits God's grace and puts parameters onto God's willingness to accept my imperfections. At the same time that discounts God's redemptive nature and the grace He fully extends to me.

My view of God's "tough love" is a way to help me understand and reconcile that a perfect God could also accept and love imperfect beings. And it's way of boxing in God's grace and love that He fully extends. And the unconditional nature of God is part of the inconsistency of my own theology and understand of God's providence. The freeing nature I am meant to feel is displaced by self condemnation, feeling short of God's call/standards. But that doesn't allow myself to be redeemed back into God's family/kingdom. This has been a huge breakthrough in my viewing God's sovereignty and how it is that He can fully accept me as just me.

Is God Praying For Me?

I've been meaning to read Ray Anderson's book, "The Gospel According to Judas" for a long time now. It's not a book about Judas' view of how Jesus' life played out, but rather, it's a book about the extent of God's love and grace. I'm not done with the book yet, but there are many things that strike me about the different perspectives I've never thought about the difference in God's view and our view of Judas. We see Judas as a traitor because that's how he's portrayed in the Gospel. In many instances you read, "Judas Iscariot, he being the betrayer." But in all of that, Jesus loved him anyway. He spent 3 years with him, traveled with him, broke bread with him, washed his feet, and ultimately, also died for him.

One of Professor Anderson's observations that many of us skim over is that Judas is an answer to Jesus' prayer when He was given the apostles.

 

Now during those days he went out to the mountain to pray; and he spent the night in prayer to God. And when day came, he called his disciples and chose twelve of them, whom he also named apostles: Simon, whom he named Peter, and his brother Andrew, and James, and John, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Matthew, and Thomas, and James son of Alphaeus, and Simon, who was called the Zealot, and Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor. [Luke 6:12-16]

 

 

So he had prayed for each of these men, even Judas.

I'm not here to analyze Professor Anderson's writing, but it got me thinking about how God must be continually praying for me. Is that possible? Would God need to pray for me. I think He is. I think He's praying that I would always come back to Him. I would worship Him. I would have communion with Him. And in many cases, I've let Him down and His prayers go unanswered. And as I think about prayer, my misplaced ideology and theology focuses prayer on the immediacy of God's hand in my life. It is either favor or tough love. It is either giving me success or giving me a lesson to learn. And that view of God is not only wrong, but limiting God to a mere train conductor - one who either gives me what I want or withhold blessings because I've been bad. But to view God has a praying God and praying for me is a destruction of pre-concepts of God that is choking the grace that God wants to extend to me. God prays for me because He wants to bless me, but that doesn't mean He enables bad thoughts/attitudes/behaviors. And I am an answer to His prayer - just as Judas is an answer to Jesus' prayer. I am an answer to His prayer that I would follow Him, believe in Him, and have faith in Him. He doesn't require perfection, but what He prays for is pursuit and worship. And regardless of how I respond, He continues to pray for me, and that is comforting. It would be wrong to write that God is happy with imperfection, as it would be wrong to write that He does not love us because we are imperfect. He is wholly perfect and gracious. And He continues to pray for me because He loves me. That will never change.

Never Letting Go

Over the last year, I continue to dig deeper into the meaning of worship - what that means, how it ought to be integrated into my daily life, the posture of being awe, the response to a deserving King, and the daily sacrifice I offer up to Him. There are times when I don't feel like worshiping, mainly because something bad has happened or a season of dryness. It's very "me"-centric, unfortunately, when I choose out of worshiping the God who has given me life at the Cross. I've been conditioned to worship out of response to something God has done, but I forget worship is about who He is. That He is worthy. That's it. It's not only because He owes me anything or He will bless me in some way that I worship, but it's because He is worthy to be praised that I worship.

During this season of dryness and difficulty, I've had to confront fears and attitudes that are hard to shake. I've had to lay down sins of the heart at the Cross. And yet, the season is still difficult. The feelings come and go like a tide along the beach. There are good and bad moments. And I ask myself where God is through all this. If I only knew His plans and purpose, then....what? I can still choose to disagree with His plans and rebel to do what I think I ought to be doing. Or I can choose to still say, "blessed be His name".

Today, I read something very simple, yet powerful on Matt Redman's website. I've been listening to and finding relief and peace in his song, "You Never Let Go". Here's what he wrote about how he and his wife Beth came to write the song:

There are times when everything in life seems to be breaking and shaking apart, and that age old Psalmist cry of 'How long O Lord, how long?' is echoing through your soul. It's in seasons like those where we need to find something firm to stand on. For as real as these struggles are, there's an even greater reality we can connect with, the wisdom, power and love of our amazing God. In our darkest moments He's as kind, caring and in control as He ever was. The song [You Never Let Go] was really a way of reminding ourselves that there's a God who never lets go of us, through times of calm, and the storym times.

In the song we use Psalm 23 as a springboard into the theme. 'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death', and aim to leaad people into a place of hope. Since writing the song we've been so encouraged by some of the emails and letters we've received in response. For example, people who have lost loved ones in a such hard circumstances. And though they're very real about it and grieving the loss, they've made a choice to remain on the paths of trust and praise. Our God never let go of us, and if we're wise in worship, we'll never let go of Him.

 

That was really encouraging for me to read. There IS a greater reality I can connect with - the amazing and wondrous God. I can choose into that praise and hope. The hope that is bigger than the life I live so that I can continue to be in awe of the King is is worthy of my praise.

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say

Lord blessed be your name

Facedown

I've been having a conversation with God pretty much everyday on the same subject. "God, will you reveal more of yourself to me?" So, in reading the Word, I ask that question - what is God revealing about Himself to me? In the journey through Exodus, I have been writing the same thing:

God is magnificent and worthy of reverence/praise

While that may seem pedestrian in our minds, I have also thought about what Tim Hughes has written about our view of God. Essentially, when we come before Him, why are we not so awed and struck by who He is? Why do we not fall "face down" when we approach His throne?

I have already written about the throne in my own life - that throne is reserved for the person in charge of my life: Me. And as wrong as that sounds, my actions and the way I live life tells people that God is not in the center. And in my mind, I so want Him to be. So for me to approach the "throne", it's actually a hard visual to have because in reality, I'm already sitting on the throne. But the other question remains, "why don't I just fall face down because God is so magnificent and worthy of praise?" The short answer is that I don't view God that way unfortunately. I don't know that I view God as magnificent. But in reading Exodus, that's exactly how God wants us to view Him:

So that you may know that there is no one like me in all the earth [Exodus 9:14]

To show you my power, and make my name resound through all the earth [Exodus 9:16]

The context of these 2 verses is Moses, through Aaron, tries to convince a harden hearted Pharaoh that God wants his people to be let go, so that He may be worshiped. And God gives reasons why He has hardened Pharaoh's heart. It's actually very simple:

• There is no one like Him in all the earth


• Show His power


• Make His name resound through all the earth

Do I really believe that? If I did, wouldn't I fall face down each and every time I approach Him? Wouldn't I just sing out in praise by His presence? It's one thing to know what God's character is and it's another to relate to that. And I've been thinking and praying for ways for God to remind me how in my own life He has shown me His magnificence. How has He shown me that He wants to be revered and praised? In this context of Exodus, I can already think of a couple of times within the last few years when He has shown that. And it helps to know that He is the same as He was when He spoke to Moses. He is constant, never-changing, and it's humbling to know that I am very much blind to His wonder. Of course I want to know all those things and I don't want to have to "know" that through a burning bush. Or a deep, resonant voice from the heavens. I wish/pray/hope that I would know that in the experience I have with God. It's a journey, one that has had its ups and downs. But God has show that He is consistent and constant, and there is comfort in that.

God's Purpose

During my quiet times in the last 3-4 months, I've been looking at God's character and qualities that would help me get to know Him better rather than just understand Him more. While I seek the understanding, I really felt that the Holy Spirit was working in me to get to know Jesus better, and that comes by know the qualities of His character and how that is played out in my own life.

In reading half of Genesis [started with Jacob's fleeing from Esau] and starting in Exodus, the large portion of what I read so far is the life of Joseph and his brothers. And I kept asking myself, "What is it about God that is revealing to me?" Because in the story of Joseph, God's literal voice is absent - He doesn't actually say anything for chapters. But in the midst of Joseph's life, where his brothers' jealousy leads to their selling him, being in jail for 12 years, and reaching to the height of Pharaoh's kingdom only to be confronted by his family again, I wondered what qualities of God I was suppose to get.

As I thought more about it, the Holy Spirit led me to an important quality of God's. It is that God's purpose is perfect and bigger than anything we could have planned for. I think what I used to take away from Joseph's story is that if you are faithful in God during times of trials and act appropriately, God will make things better. And I still think there is a lot of truth in that. But this time around, I think I see that God has a purpose, and His purpose is only known to Him. And just as important, His purpose is redemptive. The story of Joseph is a redeeming one, where only God could know his purpose over a 12-20 year span. Despite Joseph's jealous brothers, God redeemed the story at the end with reconciliation and blessings.

God's purpose is bigger than us. It is bigger than the moment in which we live. I was talking to the wife and I don't think our purpose is to know fully God's purpose. That would, for all intents and purpose, make us God. God reveals His purpose to us when we need it and in the way we need it. But we always have to be ready and willing to submit to His plans. Because whatever season we are living right now, God's purpose is bigger than that - and if we don't believe that, then we're not seeing closely God's character. There is a story within each of us, and our stories are meant to be part of God's purpose, especially in its redemptive nature. God's redemptive purpose for Joseph was for him to be the head of Pharaoh's kingdom - but that couldn't have happened unless he was imprisoned and interpreted the dreams of Pharaoh's. Our stories are not unlike Joseph's. We too, have gone through ups and downs. But God's purpose is big. His purpose is perfect. And it is one of God's qualities that make Him uniquely God - that He is all knowing, and that His plans need no help from us from coming to fruition.