Never Letting Go

Over the last year, I continue to dig deeper into the meaning of worship - what that means, how it ought to be integrated into my daily life, the posture of being awe, the response to a deserving King, and the daily sacrifice I offer up to Him. There are times when I don't feel like worshiping, mainly because something bad has happened or a season of dryness. It's very "me"-centric, unfortunately, when I choose out of worshiping the God who has given me life at the Cross. I've been conditioned to worship out of response to something God has done, but I forget worship is about who He is. That He is worthy. That's it. It's not only because He owes me anything or He will bless me in some way that I worship, but it's because He is worthy to be praised that I worship.

During this season of dryness and difficulty, I've had to confront fears and attitudes that are hard to shake. I've had to lay down sins of the heart at the Cross. And yet, the season is still difficult. The feelings come and go like a tide along the beach. There are good and bad moments. And I ask myself where God is through all this. If I only knew His plans and purpose, then....what? I can still choose to disagree with His plans and rebel to do what I think I ought to be doing. Or I can choose to still say, "blessed be His name".

Today, I read something very simple, yet powerful on Matt Redman's website. I've been listening to and finding relief and peace in his song, "You Never Let Go". Here's what he wrote about how he and his wife Beth came to write the song:

There are times when everything in life seems to be breaking and shaking apart, and that age old Psalmist cry of 'How long O Lord, how long?' is echoing through your soul. It's in seasons like those where we need to find something firm to stand on. For as real as these struggles are, there's an even greater reality we can connect with, the wisdom, power and love of our amazing God. In our darkest moments He's as kind, caring and in control as He ever was. The song [You Never Let Go] was really a way of reminding ourselves that there's a God who never lets go of us, through times of calm, and the storym times.

In the song we use Psalm 23 as a springboard into the theme. 'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death', and aim to leaad people into a place of hope. Since writing the song we've been so encouraged by some of the emails and letters we've received in response. For example, people who have lost loved ones in a such hard circumstances. And though they're very real about it and grieving the loss, they've made a choice to remain on the paths of trust and praise. Our God never let go of us, and if we're wise in worship, we'll never let go of Him.

 

That was really encouraging for me to read. There IS a greater reality I can connect with - the amazing and wondrous God. I can choose into that praise and hope. The hope that is bigger than the life I live so that I can continue to be in awe of the King is is worthy of my praise.

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say

Lord blessed be your name

Yoga Pain

The wife had a great idea of signing up for yoga a couple of months ago at the local senior center.  At the time, I thought, "It's going to be hard, but yoga is suppose to be good for me.  And how hard can it really be, if it's at the senior center?**"  After 4 sessions, I must admit, I bow down and wave the white flag.  I have never felt so much stretching pain in my life.  To be sure, I was never that flexible to begin with, so this is all new to my body.  I whine and cry every Monday night before we go like a little kid.  It's really pathetic.  It's by the grace of my loving wife that she doesn't physically kick me in the butt and drag me by my ear down to the senior center.

Last night was really tough.  Even the wife said so.  There was a point during the session when I thought my hamstring was going to snap.  And I just had to let go and get out of position to not sustain an injury.  Oh, it was sad.  I now know why there are only 3 men in the class of about 20 people.  We [men] can't handle the truth!  Even those of us who are there can't handle the truth.  The truth is cold, direct, and unforgiving.  I have to say that I cannot do any of the yoga moves as it was intended.  The downward dog is one of the positions that ought to be easy, but I have yet to get in the proper position.  And all the while, the instructor reminds us to breathe.  I want to yell, "I can't breathe because I'm crying!!!!"

We have another 4 weeks to go and my poor wife will have to endure another 4 weeks of whining, crying, and foot stomping.  Pray for her people.  It's too late for me.

** About half the class doesn't qualify to be seniors, but I bet they're not babies like me.