Boxing In God's Grace

Read a great description today from Ray Anderson:

For Jesus, the purpose of prayer was not for excluding sinful actions of others, but for including others and their sinful actions in His own life with the Father as the basis for redemption of sinners.

Professor Anderson was writing in the context that Jesus prayed for Judas, and that Judas was an answer to prayer. Yes, he betrayed Jesus and the disciples, but this was not merely about God allow Judas to go through with it. This is much more than that. It is about God's promise of redemption that He is able to include sinful actions into His life.

And this isn't just about Judas obviously. This is about everyone else. This is about how God views me, that He prays for me and includes the sins that I have yet to commit. He is not praying that sinful actions in my life would be excluded, but that it would be inclusive of who I am so that He can continue to do His work in me. Professor Anderson, earlier in the book, writes:

When we view God's grace as conditional upon our perfection - our success in living by His commands - we will tend to use prayer as a way of securing God's promises by meeting the right conditions. In this view of God, a failure to produce a result through prayer throws us back upon our own lack of faith - or worse, upon some unconfessed spiritual defect that sabotages God's work.

This view of God's grace and prayer is something I know has been entrenched in my life. I completely use prayer as a tool to secure God's promise. And if that promise is unfulfilled, then it's a result of my own lack of faith or past sin. This theology and view of God limits God's grace and puts parameters onto God's willingness to accept my imperfections. At the same time that discounts God's redemptive nature and the grace He fully extends to me.

My view of God's "tough love" is a way to help me understand and reconcile that a perfect God could also accept and love imperfect beings. And it's way of boxing in God's grace and love that He fully extends. And the unconditional nature of God is part of the inconsistency of my own theology and understand of God's providence. The freeing nature I am meant to feel is displaced by self condemnation, feeling short of God's call/standards. But that doesn't allow myself to be redeemed back into God's family/kingdom. This has been a huge breakthrough in my viewing God's sovereignty and how it is that He can fully accept me as just me.

Is God Praying For Me?

I've been meaning to read Ray Anderson's book, "The Gospel According to Judas" for a long time now. It's not a book about Judas' view of how Jesus' life played out, but rather, it's a book about the extent of God's love and grace. I'm not done with the book yet, but there are many things that strike me about the different perspectives I've never thought about the difference in God's view and our view of Judas. We see Judas as a traitor because that's how he's portrayed in the Gospel. In many instances you read, "Judas Iscariot, he being the betrayer." But in all of that, Jesus loved him anyway. He spent 3 years with him, traveled with him, broke bread with him, washed his feet, and ultimately, also died for him.

One of Professor Anderson's observations that many of us skim over is that Judas is an answer to Jesus' prayer when He was given the apostles.

 

Now during those days he went out to the mountain to pray; and he spent the night in prayer to God. And when day came, he called his disciples and chose twelve of them, whom he also named apostles: Simon, whom he named Peter, and his brother Andrew, and James, and John, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Matthew, and Thomas, and James son of Alphaeus, and Simon, who was called the Zealot, and Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor. [Luke 6:12-16]

 

 

So he had prayed for each of these men, even Judas.

I'm not here to analyze Professor Anderson's writing, but it got me thinking about how God must be continually praying for me. Is that possible? Would God need to pray for me. I think He is. I think He's praying that I would always come back to Him. I would worship Him. I would have communion with Him. And in many cases, I've let Him down and His prayers go unanswered. And as I think about prayer, my misplaced ideology and theology focuses prayer on the immediacy of God's hand in my life. It is either favor or tough love. It is either giving me success or giving me a lesson to learn. And that view of God is not only wrong, but limiting God to a mere train conductor - one who either gives me what I want or withhold blessings because I've been bad. But to view God has a praying God and praying for me is a destruction of pre-concepts of God that is choking the grace that God wants to extend to me. God prays for me because He wants to bless me, but that doesn't mean He enables bad thoughts/attitudes/behaviors. And I am an answer to His prayer - just as Judas is an answer to Jesus' prayer. I am an answer to His prayer that I would follow Him, believe in Him, and have faith in Him. He doesn't require perfection, but what He prays for is pursuit and worship. And regardless of how I respond, He continues to pray for me, and that is comforting. It would be wrong to write that God is happy with imperfection, as it would be wrong to write that He does not love us because we are imperfect. He is wholly perfect and gracious. And He continues to pray for me because He loves me. That will never change.

Never Letting Go

Over the last year, I continue to dig deeper into the meaning of worship - what that means, how it ought to be integrated into my daily life, the posture of being awe, the response to a deserving King, and the daily sacrifice I offer up to Him. There are times when I don't feel like worshiping, mainly because something bad has happened or a season of dryness. It's very "me"-centric, unfortunately, when I choose out of worshiping the God who has given me life at the Cross. I've been conditioned to worship out of response to something God has done, but I forget worship is about who He is. That He is worthy. That's it. It's not only because He owes me anything or He will bless me in some way that I worship, but it's because He is worthy to be praised that I worship.

During this season of dryness and difficulty, I've had to confront fears and attitudes that are hard to shake. I've had to lay down sins of the heart at the Cross. And yet, the season is still difficult. The feelings come and go like a tide along the beach. There are good and bad moments. And I ask myself where God is through all this. If I only knew His plans and purpose, then....what? I can still choose to disagree with His plans and rebel to do what I think I ought to be doing. Or I can choose to still say, "blessed be His name".

Today, I read something very simple, yet powerful on Matt Redman's website. I've been listening to and finding relief and peace in his song, "You Never Let Go". Here's what he wrote about how he and his wife Beth came to write the song:

There are times when everything in life seems to be breaking and shaking apart, and that age old Psalmist cry of 'How long O Lord, how long?' is echoing through your soul. It's in seasons like those where we need to find something firm to stand on. For as real as these struggles are, there's an even greater reality we can connect with, the wisdom, power and love of our amazing God. In our darkest moments He's as kind, caring and in control as He ever was. The song [You Never Let Go] was really a way of reminding ourselves that there's a God who never lets go of us, through times of calm, and the storym times.

In the song we use Psalm 23 as a springboard into the theme. 'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death', and aim to leaad people into a place of hope. Since writing the song we've been so encouraged by some of the emails and letters we've received in response. For example, people who have lost loved ones in a such hard circumstances. And though they're very real about it and grieving the loss, they've made a choice to remain on the paths of trust and praise. Our God never let go of us, and if we're wise in worship, we'll never let go of Him.

 

That was really encouraging for me to read. There IS a greater reality I can connect with - the amazing and wondrous God. I can choose into that praise and hope. The hope that is bigger than the life I live so that I can continue to be in awe of the King is is worthy of my praise.

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say

Lord blessed be your name

Facedown

I've been having a conversation with God pretty much everyday on the same subject. "God, will you reveal more of yourself to me?" So, in reading the Word, I ask that question - what is God revealing about Himself to me? In the journey through Exodus, I have been writing the same thing:

God is magnificent and worthy of reverence/praise

While that may seem pedestrian in our minds, I have also thought about what Tim Hughes has written about our view of God. Essentially, when we come before Him, why are we not so awed and struck by who He is? Why do we not fall "face down" when we approach His throne?

I have already written about the throne in my own life - that throne is reserved for the person in charge of my life: Me. And as wrong as that sounds, my actions and the way I live life tells people that God is not in the center. And in my mind, I so want Him to be. So for me to approach the "throne", it's actually a hard visual to have because in reality, I'm already sitting on the throne. But the other question remains, "why don't I just fall face down because God is so magnificent and worthy of praise?" The short answer is that I don't view God that way unfortunately. I don't know that I view God as magnificent. But in reading Exodus, that's exactly how God wants us to view Him:

So that you may know that there is no one like me in all the earth [Exodus 9:14]

To show you my power, and make my name resound through all the earth [Exodus 9:16]

The context of these 2 verses is Moses, through Aaron, tries to convince a harden hearted Pharaoh that God wants his people to be let go, so that He may be worshiped. And God gives reasons why He has hardened Pharaoh's heart. It's actually very simple:

• There is no one like Him in all the earth


• Show His power


• Make His name resound through all the earth

Do I really believe that? If I did, wouldn't I fall face down each and every time I approach Him? Wouldn't I just sing out in praise by His presence? It's one thing to know what God's character is and it's another to relate to that. And I've been thinking and praying for ways for God to remind me how in my own life He has shown me His magnificence. How has He shown me that He wants to be revered and praised? In this context of Exodus, I can already think of a couple of times within the last few years when He has shown that. And it helps to know that He is the same as He was when He spoke to Moses. He is constant, never-changing, and it's humbling to know that I am very much blind to His wonder. Of course I want to know all those things and I don't want to have to "know" that through a burning bush. Or a deep, resonant voice from the heavens. I wish/pray/hope that I would know that in the experience I have with God. It's a journey, one that has had its ups and downs. But God has show that He is consistent and constant, and there is comfort in that.

God's Purpose

During my quiet times in the last 3-4 months, I've been looking at God's character and qualities that would help me get to know Him better rather than just understand Him more. While I seek the understanding, I really felt that the Holy Spirit was working in me to get to know Jesus better, and that comes by know the qualities of His character and how that is played out in my own life.

In reading half of Genesis [started with Jacob's fleeing from Esau] and starting in Exodus, the large portion of what I read so far is the life of Joseph and his brothers. And I kept asking myself, "What is it about God that is revealing to me?" Because in the story of Joseph, God's literal voice is absent - He doesn't actually say anything for chapters. But in the midst of Joseph's life, where his brothers' jealousy leads to their selling him, being in jail for 12 years, and reaching to the height of Pharaoh's kingdom only to be confronted by his family again, I wondered what qualities of God I was suppose to get.

As I thought more about it, the Holy Spirit led me to an important quality of God's. It is that God's purpose is perfect and bigger than anything we could have planned for. I think what I used to take away from Joseph's story is that if you are faithful in God during times of trials and act appropriately, God will make things better. And I still think there is a lot of truth in that. But this time around, I think I see that God has a purpose, and His purpose is only known to Him. And just as important, His purpose is redemptive. The story of Joseph is a redeeming one, where only God could know his purpose over a 12-20 year span. Despite Joseph's jealous brothers, God redeemed the story at the end with reconciliation and blessings.

God's purpose is bigger than us. It is bigger than the moment in which we live. I was talking to the wife and I don't think our purpose is to know fully God's purpose. That would, for all intents and purpose, make us God. God reveals His purpose to us when we need it and in the way we need it. But we always have to be ready and willing to submit to His plans. Because whatever season we are living right now, God's purpose is bigger than that - and if we don't believe that, then we're not seeing closely God's character. There is a story within each of us, and our stories are meant to be part of God's purpose, especially in its redemptive nature. God's redemptive purpose for Joseph was for him to be the head of Pharaoh's kingdom - but that couldn't have happened unless he was imprisoned and interpreted the dreams of Pharaoh's. Our stories are not unlike Joseph's. We too, have gone through ups and downs. But God's purpose is big. His purpose is perfect. And it is one of God's qualities that make Him uniquely God - that He is all knowing, and that His plans need no help from us from coming to fruition.

What Kind of Justice Do We Seek?

A lot has been happening at work - none of which is pleasant. Layoffs, large debt, lowered revenues are all but larger clouds that form over our heads. Closer to the ground are decisions made by few that nonetheless leave us doubting right and wrong, justice and injustice.

I've already written about the Dilbert Principle, but beyond the concept of incompetent managers and executives that keep rising to the top like hot air balloons, I wonder: Where is the justice? Where is the right and wrong for those who are hard working and rewarded while those who sell their salesmanship are disposed? Part of the problem is that we all think, in varying degrees, we are hard working and our moral compass points to true north. And part of the problem with justice is we see it through the lens of our own corner, the corner we think has the best view of the room rather than through God's point of view, where what makes sense to Him, doesn't to us.

When I consider the fact that there are many executives out there who can't manage, lead, inspire, vision, develop, or coach, there are just as many arrogant, self-righteous, judgmental employees who think they can. And that's the rub. For all the incompetent managers and executives out there, there are equally the same number of self-righteous employees who feel they have been wronged by the Dilbert Principle. Justice outside of God's economy is a concept that doesn't reside in reality - at least not the reality that we want it to live in. Justice is only true in the people who talk about it like it's a bunch of "should's" situations that if only the people who make decisions can see, all would be "right" with the world. It "shouldn't" be this way, we tell ourselves. He/she "should" have been laid off, not him/her.

As I reflect on what is happening at my own job and company, I know the concept of justice is more than right and wrong. It is, without a doubt, a very dangerous and often disappointing view of a world that continues to shower CEOs and executives millions of dollars, only to see the companies they lead fail. For every good worker that stays, the same number of incompetent manager rises through the system that rewards the coterie of a few than the merit of the many. The world is not that simple, unfortunately. It's not just a matter of doing the "right" thing, but rather, it is a matter of living with integrity and with character that is often disappointing. But then again, who doesn't think they have integrity? Who doesn't think they have character? I guess that's why God is the judge and we "should" not be. Justice comes when we see decisions/acts that, to us, is so blatant that we await for the judge [whoever that is in the company] to right a "wrong". But it doesn't always happen. Why? I know it sounds so overused, but it's because life is very gray. Even if you remove one incompetent manager or executive, another will take their place to continue to run the show. So where is the justice? Is there no end to moronic decisions and idiotic leadership? As long as we [people] think we're running this life, justice is pushed through a vacuum that is random and unsettling. And even though I want the right things to be done and justice to prevail, that only happens in heaven and comic books. Life is full of oxymorons and contridictions. Unfairness and injustice is just part of a flawed system run by flawed people. And to push for justice that only God should be able to hammer down is an emotionally exhausting endeavor. The response is not to merely resign and give up, but it is to have community brought forth together to exhort, petition, pray, hope, and love - because God can only be the true Judge. When we try to be the judge and make sense of it all, we are left with being frustrated and in pain. We can only try to seek God and find peace that He has a purpose and His purpose is always perfect. It's easier said than done, but when it comes to corporate justice, there is little to be done with "should's" and more with just controlling the only thing we can: ourselves and the way we respond.

I'm not saying we should be in silence. I am not saying there's nothing we can do. We must speak up and act according to the injustice - but when we judge, when we hold the gavel, the world is no longer God's to own, but ours to ruin. We must stand up for the marginalized and those who have no voice. But to think that justice always prevail is also naive and innocent. Justice can only prevail when God is the judge. When we try to replace Him at the throne, we will be disappointed and more often than not, we will fail. I'm learning a big lesson for myself in all of this. I need to get off the throne so He can take His rightful place. Someone please tackle me out of the chair so God can sit where He needs to do His work. Because I'm tired and weary. Trying to make sense of it all is all too disappointing and painful. So it's time to let God finally do what only He can do - to perfect judge every situation in my life. To understand that His purpose is wholly good and true.